Describe the perfect friend

/ 6 November 2009

To describe the perfect friend takes a lot of internal pondering as our own outward emotions and features play the largest role in who the perfect friend would be. So, on the outside I would have to say that the following paragraphs explain what is key to a perfect friend for me personally. Note, though, that all that is written here is just the outer feelings as I didn’t explore deep enough nor would let loose anything deeper. One definite requirement is that you know each other quite deeply. This isn’t a brief process. It takes months, sometimes years, to complete. But when completed you’ll be in the position of having formed a deep understanding of this friend. Any perfect friend would have to know you this well, and you them. It is also important that you two spend a lot of time together. Now, maybe this doesn’t happen later in knowing each other, but partly for the first reason, and partly just so that you can consider this friend slightly above your other friends, it needs to occur in the first year or two of being friends. One clear requirement is that you two have at least a few major topics of interest in common. Clearly this may not persist throughout the entire time you know each other, but at the start it needs to be the case. What this gives you is a reason to find each other and a set of common ground for you to rest in when talking with each other. You will need to be opposites on the chain of help. What I mean by this is that one of you has to be able to help the other with something deeper, and vice-versa. Along with this is the notion of being well trusted and the one of just a few to which this friend would come to vent or get advice about or on deeper topics. It will also become necessary that you are available at the time of need for the other. This ties in with the above element, but also has connection to just being there. To be a perfect friend the friend needs to be able to talk or come over and help when asked at least some of the time. The final note is that these were just layer one, the most public layer, of the set of elements that I test against to determine a perfect friend. There is more by far, including more detail on the above. I rarely stick to these, as they are a fluid scale, but they represent what some of the qualities I want/need in at least some of my friends are.